I'm not sure what I was hoping to accomplish, exactly. Did I think the Football Gods were a slow-witted bunch, easily duped? Perhaps. The ancient Greek Gods were constantly being tricked - by mortals, by each other, by various and assorted supernatural beings. But the Greek Gods were a vain and horny pantheon, and nobody is more easily punk'd than a randy narcissist.
Would the Football Gods be fooled by my obvious ploy? Perhaps. Football players aren't exactly the intellectual giants of our age. I mean, we all went to high school, right? So yeah, maybe their Gods are as dim-witted as the college linebacker who needs freshman nerds to do their remedial reading homework.
But more likely, I was emotionally preparing myself for defeat. I wanted to get back to the Super Bowl so badly. Either the Ravens or Patriots would be the opponent, and I wanted the chance to avenge the 2000 loss to Ray Lewis, or shut up all the Patriots fans who thought 2007 was a helmet fluke. Either way, it worked, and to this day all you have to do is whisper the name "Eli" into the ear of a Patriots fan, and he'll go into an apoplectic fit. (Try it. It's awesome.)
Anyway, now it's the New York Mets who - like those 2011 Giants - have defied all the pre-season prognosticators, and made it all the way to the Fall Classic. And I want it badly.
But, I'm pretty darn sure Baseball Gods are not easily duped. Baseball is the sport of the poet and the intellectual. Baseball, by American standards, is our ancient sport - not some newcomer like basketball and football. Baseball is not played by freakish physical mutants - again, I'm looking at you, Hoops and Pigskin. It is a game to be taken in slowly, to be savored, to be appreciated, to be studied. Baseball is eternal.
As Terrence Mann says in Field of Dreams:
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and that could be again. Oh...people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.”
Clearly, I am not fooling the Baseball Gods.
But - Gods demand sacrifice and tribute and humility.
So, as a public service, I present to you all the reasons the New York Mets have absolutely no chance to beat the Kansas City Royals in the 2015 World Series.
Ah, screw it: here, read Ben Lindbergh's piece...
Let's Go Mets!
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